Monday, January 19, 2009

What did I do?

Did I just make the biggest mistake in my life? I have the right intentions at heart, but I don't know if it was the right thing to do. I never meant to hurt you, I just wish you could see it from my point of view. I didn't do anything stupid to end it, but when I did end it, I feel like I hurt you the same. Nothing like this ever feels good, but in the future you will understand my reasoning. We were so good at one point... but was that just because of where we were? Was it stupid to think we could make it happen outside of that? I was scared of what I thought would happen and in the end, it did happen, but it was my fault. It hurts me sooo much to hear you hurt, but I swear there's a reason behind everything. I wish I could just turn around and say ok, forget all that, I want this, right now. My heart begs me to stop the crying, but my brain convinces me that its all for the best, that one day you will get it. I swear I wasn't making plans for me and someone else while we were still together and I promise to you (believe it or not) I don't have any plans to get with anybody else now. I just need some time to myself, some time to get my life together without having to stress over not being able to give you everything you need while were apart. I just need right now to not be a boyfriend and be YOUR FRIEND before I LOSE you completely. We all have our problems and I'll be the first to admit it. I lost this battle, but the war is far from over. I hope you realize that before you give up on me. I just really wish you could understand.

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